Friday, November 21, 2014


Today I am grateful for clarity amidst a sea of blur... (no doubt why I'm so in love with my new Lensbaby lens...)

I am grateful for the people I work with that help me heal... on all levels, that help my psyche and my nervous system and my body and my spirit recover from early and not so early life traumas and woundings.

Today I bow down to the sacred journey... to the great mystery of who we are, why we are here, and why we have the experiences we do... and what fertile ground they provide for deep and sustained transformation and growth.

Today I am humbled by courage... that invisible thing that somehow, through some grace not of my own doing, deposited itself in my lap years ago, and has propelled the journey ever since... to keep going, to keep looking, to keep asking, to keep inquiring, to not give up, even when it is really hard, even when it feels like it will never end; that has met the longing for knowing, understanding, and healing and walked hand in hand with it on this long road.

Today I am grateful for the small but precious circle that surrounds and supports and sees and listens, and for the tenderness, patience, understanding, and love found there.

Today I am especially thankful for the puzzle piece that slipped almost silently into place, unexpected and yet hungered for, safe in the warm lit room, sprawling oaks and golden maple leaves under a deep gray canopy outside, desperately needed rain, a long awaited visitor tapping at the window; heart spilling open, a light of truth dawning so bright it sends me reeling, and from it, a knowing, deep, abiding, that this is it, this is the thing, the part that has been eluding me; and suddenly it all makes sense and I know, just as I know my own name and my reflection in the mirror, that this is what it's all about... this particular circumstance, this room, this longing, this journey, this life... and I am blown open... plain and simple... blown open... yet again.

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Never Not Here

This sweet bird gave my sister and I what felt like hours of fun on our vacation up north. In truth, it was maybe ten minutes, fifteen tops. But in those moments, time stood still and we experienced pure joy just watching this tiny little being play with the big, powerful waves. What a strut, what a swagger! and what a sense of humor she had; we even suspected she knew she had a very appreciative audience, and was playing just for us. We laughed, we snorted, we were in awe. All over a simple little seagull.

The simplest moments can be the most sacred. We (okay, I) think we need the big bang, the great Walenda, the fireworks, the ecstatic experience. The birth of the baby, jumping in the water with wild dolphins, waking up on Maui, falling head over heels in love. And yes, it's there for sure, pronounced even, available for the taking. But the truth is it's everywhere... it being the sacred, embedded in everything, palpable in those holy moments, those seconds or minutes of grace, when thoughts are silenced, self disappears, and there is just oneness, an unveiled meeting with what is... an openness, a connection, an instantaneous descent from the head straight into the heart. It's the bird at the beach and the one splashing in the birdbath; it's the clouds suddenly painted bright pink - or not; it's meeting the eyes of a stranger, the sliver of moon at dawn, dewdrops in the sun, taking a photo; it's coral leaves, choral voices, the bass beat, the Moody Blues; the Christmas story, the Buddha story, Mary's story, the Hindi chant... it's in our very humanness, our pain and grief and suffering, our loves, our longings. our joys. It's mothers and daughters and love so big it spills out everywhere, sometimes not so gracefully. It's birth and death...and everything, I mean everything in between. The moments big and small, each breath, each beating of our heart, our bodies, aging; each creature, every particle of air, even the space that holds it all. The Sacred... never not here.

What amazing grace.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

The Mystery

Our souls know the way
~Miranda MacPherson

This photo was taken at Trinidad Bay, far up on the Northern California coast, and possibly the most beautiful beach I've ever seen. The play of light, surf, fog, land, trees, was exquisite. So raw and dynamic, we stood in awe of the beauty and power of Nature.

We came across this small bay totally by accident. We were looking for a different beach; I had asked in a local coffee shop about the one beach that should not be missed if our time was limited. We never found that beach, but stumbled on this one in the search... and could not imagine our luck OR a more beautiful place. So much so that we stopped for a longer time on the way back, when this shot was taken.

I wonder how much of life is like that... we think we are going one place, only to find a fork in the road along the way. And my sense is it's never an accident... just part of the mystery of life that I am so in love with... that great Unknown that we are all a part of... guiding our way - be it looking for the perfect beach on vacation, be it the people who appear in our lives, what interests and inspires us, our work, the spiritual path. We so tend to think that it's us, that we are in control, that we are making the decisions, that we are lighting our own way. That we know exactly where it is we are going and how exactly we are supposed to get there. I so love it when life challenges this assumption... when it gives us a hint, or even sometimes something so glaring we can't look the other way... when it reveals itself and all we can really do is bow down before it... be it this lovely little bay, or that completely unexpected thing that rocks our world... the veil lifts even for just a moment and we get a glimpse, and something deep within us shifts. 

Trust this mystery that has called you... that's actually called your name, that has touched you...