Thursday, June 25, 2015

Just Be

I'm not sure how it's possible that it's been a year since my Bimini dolphin trip, over the summer solstice last year. Quite possibly the most stunning five days of my life, swimming in the wide expanse of ocean with our sea sisters and brothers; floating mindless and free in the indigo depths of the gulf stream, where light plays with water in a way that is simply mind blowing, not to mention hypnotic (DEBBY, I kept hearing from far away, you're too far from the boat, GET BACK HERE!); sleeping outside on the deck while anchored over Bimini Road, the boat rocking gently, mesmerized by the night sky, then the lightning, and the deep rumble of thunder across the black waters. Feeling the absolute sacredness of this mysterious place - Bimini Road and our beloved planet - and a stillness and joy in my heart that I know has never been equaled.

In the last three months, creativity of all sorts has taken a backseat to healing. I know this is a gift of the dolphins, one dolphin in particular, on the last day, who circled around again and again to come back to me, to look me in the eye, to swim belly to belly with me, as though saying, Yes! You can do it! We are here to help and support your deepest dreams of healing, your heart's desire to live life as fully as possible! It was not your fault... it was not your shame, though by its very nature it is locked inside your body. You were not, you are not bad or wrong or defective... you are a beautiful soul with a tender and precious heart... (like all souls everywhere!) and we are here, in fact we are honored, and it is our greatest desire to be of such service. 

Back home, after a few weeks basking in the incredible glow, life became life again. Within a few months it began, one thing after the other coming up, making itself known. Just what I asked for I keep reminding myself. But oy vey! Had I only known... Family issues, health issues, emotions, patterns, belief systems. So many things that want to be seen, that want kindness and acceptance and understanding, love even. So many things that long to be healed.

And so it goes. Sometimes creativity has been a cornerstone of the healing journey. At other times, so much is happening internally that there simply nothing left with which to create anything. This seems to be one of those times. Way less doing, far more being. A challenge for me for sure, but a good one. To just sit. To just be. With myself. No distractions. Just being. My life stripped barer by the moment... so many things that used to matter going by the wayside. Sometimes difficult, challenging, painful even, but otherwise a pretty sublime invitation... To just BE.

Like the dolphins...

And p.s., gratitude to my writer friend who said the other day, just face the page, Debby...